It’s Not That You Don’t Have Time, It’s That You Have No Interest

You always have time for what you want to do. However, sometimes we make the excuse of lack of time to not do those things for which we have no interest.

For example, we may be invited to a dinner, but we don’t feel like going at all. Maybe we are tired or there are other kinds of things that we want to do more. So, we say “oh, sorry, I won’t be able to go, I don’t have time!” .

Our friends may think this is so, but when this response becomes a constant, something is happening.

Don’t pretend you have an interest

The fact of pretending to be interested in someone or something and then making an excuse not to do what we so little fancy is a consequence of wanting to give an image that does not correspond to who we are.

We want to look good, this is how they taught us, not to say “no”, not to refuse something that is considered socially well seen.

However, there is a conflict here between what is desirable and what we want. If we don’t want to meet our friends, let’s say it! Let’s not make excuses for a time that we actually do have.

The worst thing about this is that we believe this lie that we tell others and we transform it into our way of proceeding.

If they discover us, we will lose the trust of those we love because we have not been able to be honest with them and express our needs without feeling bad.

A study from the University of Iowa College of Psychology shows that those who make excuses lose credibility with friends and employers.

You can say “no” without feeling bad

We have not been educated to say what we want or to say “no” if it is what we think. They have educated us in the “yes” to everything. This is how excuses arise when this does not correspond to our needs.

We are playing to keep up appearances while we deceive ourselves and, also, we deceive others.

The lack of denial causes that , whatever we ask for, the answer will always be affirmative.

This causes a lot of problems, because have they ever met with you and later told you that they couldn’t? Has this been repeated? Have they changed you for another plan?

This makes you feel bad, but… don’t you do it too? Being aware of this will allow you to start acting in a different way, not to excuse your lack of interest with lack of time. E mpieza to express what you really want and feel.

Start being yourself

Begin to show your lack of interest in a social encounter, in a person or in any other scenario that comes your way if you feel it.

The psychotherapist Sari Gillman, author of the book “Transform your Borders”, recommends setting your limits with a yes or no even if others do not like it. Those who really appreciate you will know how to accept it.

It is not necessary to make excuses, because you will have to be very careful that this has not been repeated previously. Otherwise, they can discover you!

It is time to start being honest. We are always asking that others be with us and, instead, we do the opposite.

Say “no” if you don’t feel like it and be honest with those who have an interest in you so you don’t hurt them.

No one has to assume that ours is lack of interest. We also don’t have to lie to ourselves that we don’t have time.

It is better that we begin to be the way we are, without fear.