Irrational Beliefs About Romantic Love

Even today many couples are built on irrational beliefs about romantic love that we have learned since we were little. Beliefs that, in reality, can lead us to enter toxic relationships.

Surely some phrases like “love can do everything” or “I have found my other half” sound familiar . These phrases are nothing more than the evidence of a series of beliefs that are still present today. We are going to reflect on some of them.

According to romantic love: love can do everything

This is one of the main beliefs of romantic love that makes us believe that love has such a vigorous force that it can fight everything. Even with an infidelity? Even with a situation of abuse or disrespect?

This belief causes many couples to refuse a necessary break because “our relationship cannot end like this.”

We will have even heard abused women, both physically and psychologically, saying “I loved him so much that I put up with it all.”

However, this belief is disproved in real life. When a couple wanting to have a child cannot have a child and undergoes multiple fertility treatments that do not work, in some cases they can end up breaking up.

Also, in situations in which the members of a relationship have to separate. After spending long periods of time away for different reasons, the relationship can eventually break down.

But, without a doubt, the great example is in all those couples who spend many years together and who do not understand why the passion has diminished.

The reason for all these examples is that, in reality, love cannot with everything. Yet despite this, the irrational belief that it does make us choose the option of letting the relationship end on its own.

Without making the decision before, as if it were a failure to do so. Romantic love cannot do everything because love must be cared for and requires effort and very solid foundations. By itself, love cannot survive.

Romantic love: “he is the person I have waited for so long”

This belief has many other phrases that can express it in the same way: “he is my other half” , “my better half”, “the person with whom I was destined to meet”, “with whom I will spend my whole life” …

A series of phrases that make us think of a dependency relationship, in which “without you I am nothing, because you complete me”. So so far you have never been complete?

This vision of the couple relationship provokes attitudes of jealousy and possession for fear of losing that person who is our other half. That person with whom we have allowed ourselves to lose our individuality.

Couples who, as soon as they are formed, create a single person, who see themselves as a pack, who stop doing things separately, it seems that wherever they go they always have to be together, it is very likely that they are following this belief.

A belief that leads them to do crazy things like leaving their personal projects aside, depending on the other person … But what if the relationship ends tomorrow? They would be left with nothing and that is when the feeling of emptiness appears.

Being in a couple does not imply ceasing to be individual beings. We can keep doing the same things and have the same plans.

The fact of thinking that the other person is our half can make us forget who we are and everything we wanted to do.

If it’s true love, it fills you in every way

This is one of the last beliefs about romantic love that we are going to discuss and that refers to that person, the better half, has to fill us in every way: sexual, emotional, hobbies, etc.

Undoubtedly, this belief supposes an enormous responsibility towards the other person who must cover all the needs of his partner. However, is this possible?

Let’s think about when couples have been together for many years, as we mentioned previously, and the passion wanes. What happens then? There is a part of our life that is not being covered.

The reaction we have when having this belief well present is to blame the other, to believe that they no longer want us or, what is worse, that the relationship is going downhill.

No one but ourselves is going to complement us

One person cannot fill all aspects of our life. It is an impossible and an expectation too high difficult to fulfill. Let’s imagine that you can’t get along with our friends or that you don’t want to watch figure skating with us because you don’t like it.

It would not be correct to tell him “if you love me, you would do it for me” or to think that if he cannot make a friendship with our friends, there is something strange. Each of us needs our space. Being in a couple does not mean doing everything together.

Which of these irrational beliefs about romantic love have you had to deal with? Do you consider specifying any more than you think appropriate?

Beliefs are to be questioned and invite reflection. Because believing them to the letter can lead us to suffer for love.