Sometimes When We Lose Everything, We Find What We Are Looking For
When we lose everything and find ourselves alone with ourselves is when we can begin to heal our wounds and build ourselves from scratch.
On many occasions we lose everything. Our partner leaves us, our friends leave, they kick us out of work …
These situations cause us to feel empty, lost and without any idea of where to go to give our life meaning again.
We tend, then, to fall into victimisms and complaints that fill us with anxiety and despair.
Maybe it’s not so bad to lose everything … What if when we lose we are actually winning?
The search for false security
Perhaps we have not realized it, but when the world is upon us because we have lost everything, it is because we believed that all of that provided us with security.
The moment a partner leaves us, we feel very bad. So much so that we believe that we are not going to rebuild our lives, we do not even think that there is a future for us. We think our life ends there.
This is a serious mistake, but it happens because we believe that having a partner gave us fictitious security.
Perhaps the security of being with that person all our life, perhaps the fact of being able to start a family before it is too late or perhaps we have allowed ourselves to believe that with a partner we would be happy forever.
Sometimes, we leave responsibilities in things or in others that only belong to us. That is why when we lose them, we feel so bad and so empty.
Accumulating things, clinging to those who hurt us, not letting go of everything that is left over in our life … is an indication that we are afraid to let go because we have put the label of “security” on all that.
The tendency to put patches
Putting patches is a very human tendency to avoid seeing the wounds that we have and that we need to heal.
For example, if it hurts me to be alone when my partners leave me, what I will do is reengage some relationships with others to avoid the subsequent emptiness that occurs in the face of loss.
However, all this causes us to escape from something that will remain there until we deign to face it.
For this reason, perhaps only when we lose everything is a propitious moment to lend to what is not going well in us.
Because, although it is hard to believe, only when we lose everything and are left destitute, with nothing, empty, is when we can find our way, the solution to what happens to us.
If instead of sticking a patch again we realize this attitude, we do not fall into victimhood and we see the situation as an opportunity to learn, we will be growing and maturing.
Because, although we do not want to realize it, we are stuck and tripping over the same stone.
When we lose it all, we find ourselves
The moment we lose everything we must not despair. Perhaps we should change our lifestyle or, perhaps, cope with the dreaded loneliness.
Only we ourselves know what we have to heal, what we have been dragging for a long time because we have not wanted to look at it.
Now is a great opportunity to do it and stop perpetuating a situation that is not doing us good, but only causes us suffering.
We may find ourselves and not recognize ourselves. We have forgotten for a long time what we wanted, where we wanted to go, and because of that, we felt so lost.
Behind the pain and frustration that all this causes is something that we have to learn.
Everything that happens to us has its positive side, which is not happy. It is to learn, to strengthen oneself with the circumstances that must be lived.
Losing everything is not a misfortune, but an opportunity.
